Why am I not married?

One of the hardest things that I had to accept in giving up my active search for the perfect husband, is that I am ready to be married so why am I not married?

I have a few good who have said over the years that I will make a good wife or mother. Nice compliments. Especially when I really desire to be a wife and mother. However as of late they have felt more like daggers than flowers.

I battle with the thought "What if I have been independent so long that when my future husband comes along we clash because of it?" However the way life has played out to this point, I can't just sit around and let someone look after me because since I live on my own there isn't anyone who would do that.

When I ask my friend MK, "Why am I not married?" MK always says "Maybe God still has work to do on your future husband?" This may be very true. However part of the love myself challenge is realizing that there may be work left in me before God is ready for me to be married. It could also be that the last few years that I have been dating, I have been taking away more and more time away from my relationship with God to search for the perfect husband. So maybe God is wanting me to focus on him more because if I am not focused on God during my search how is my future husband going to realize what kind of a role God has in my life? Or the kind of role I want God to have in my married life?

While I definitely desire a Christian marriage I now realize why God maybe saying wait.