I had always expected that I would be in medical school by this point. That I would be in a loving committed relationship and that we'd be discussing marriage.
I am a planner. I feel safer with a game plan than with spontaneity.
Tonight as my niece cried for me as I left the table despite Nana and Aunt Mary's presence, an epiphany hit me with full force. Maybe the unknowns are better than our expectations. I never expected to have the role in my niece and nephew's lives that I hold. However I am blessed by these opportunities.
I will probably never be comfortable with a life devoid of plans. However I am hoping that I can give those plans back to God and I can rely upon Him.
Maybe God doesn't tell us the game plan because it is so full of oddities that we would be unable to comprehend or accept it. For example trying to explain to a cave man what an airplane or space ship is.
I understand that I may not be able to know all of the details of the game plan, but I really struggle with not even knowing if I am on the path that God wants for my life.
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